Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Toupee Or Not Toupee? That Is The Question.

One common beef I hear from Canadians is, "Americans are totally ignorant about our country. We're their biggest trading partner and they don't know anything about us. Blah, blah, blah, whine, whine, whine, boo, hoo, hoo."

Well, my northern-dwelling friends, the truth is it's darned tough to stay apprised of the goings on in Canada when you don't live there. When I moved to New York in December 1997, I wanted to subscribe to The Globe & Mail. To my great surprise, The Globe & Mail wasn't home-delivered in New York and, in fact, was available only at a very limited number of newsstands on a one-day delay basis. To my great annoyance, the papers sold out very quickly. I soon gave up trying to keep abreast of Canadian affairs.

Of course, the Internet soon came to my rescue. I now check the on-line version of The Globe & Mail every day. It's a less than perfect way to stay informed, though. I find the coverage sort of "hit-or-miss" and while I have a pretty good grasp on what's going on from 30,000 feet (that's 10,936 meters for you "metric only" types), I'm at a complete loss when it comes to more piffling things like trying to name any premier of any Maritime province. Detailed questions like that just beat the hell out of me.

If you think I'm kidding, go to the on-line version of The Globe & Mail yourself, pretend you're not from Canada and see how hard it is to figure out exactly who, where and what is going on. It doesn't help that some of the good stuff has an electronic padlock next to it. I'm thinking of Jeffrey Simpson's column in particular. On the topic of Jeffrey Simpson, what in God's name is going on there? He looks terrible! Here's his photo from the on-line version of The Globe & Mail:

Is that a toupee or should Jeffrey no longer be on speaking terms with his barber, stylist or whoever else it was that inflicted that nasty looking 'do on him?

In any event, the point I'm trying to make is that you all shouldn't be so tough on Americans for not knowing what's going on in Canada. It's tough, even for people like me who care about what's happening.

1 comment:

Brian said...

My team of toupee experts agree, Jeffrey's hair is all natural. For in depth analysis, please check out: http://baldmengonewild.blogspot.com/2008/02/jeffrey-simpson-not-toupee.html